Double Standard

A guy sleeps with a girl, then proceeds to sleep with her friend, and his fellow students congratulate him for having skills and hooking multiple ladies. A girl sleeps with a guy, she then proceeds to sleep with his friend, and her fellow students call her a slut and say she is making her round through that group of boys. I despise how a man has 'game' and a girl becomes a 'hussy' when they take the exact same actions in their sexual lives.

If a guy texts you after you've hooked up its okay. When you text him two days later he makes you feel like your wasting his precious time or interrupting his very busy schedule. I despise how a man can contact you anytime he wants, but if a girl contacts him post hook up she is considered 'clingy' or might 'like' them too much. Heaven forbid a person acquire feelings for someone who gave her attention, flattered her, and then slept with her.

I'll even say that I find college men do alot of 'courting'. However, the connotation is a bit different than from when Jane Austen used it. Usually it refers to the attention paid to a girl when seeking to be with her, an act of interest if you will. In college, the guy 'courts' a girl with flattery, flirtation, and charm only to seek a physical prize. Once he has slept with her the charm seems to vanish, like light when the switch is flipped off. I despise how easily men can win over a girl and then completely make her feel unimportant all within the span of 24-48 hours... sometimes less.

I like him... i think...???

Alot of people argue that looks aren't everything. I completely agree with this statement, but what irks me most is that few people argue that personality isn't everything. As weird as it may sound I strongly feel that sexual attraction is key when thinking about pursuing a relationship with someone.

Having personally dated a guy because we clicked on a mental and personal level, I can safely say that at some point you realize things are missing. The spark isn't there. It is like building a relationship on half solid and half hollow ground. At some point the one side will cave in and everything will be broken.

Sexual attraction can develop, certain features become attractive or stand out, but its not the same as what I'm referring to. I'm talking about the feeling of seeing a stranger across a room and having that connection. That thing that comes over when meeting someone new; Where within a few minutes you find yourself attracted to them and you immediately start hoping they too are attracted to you.

Relationships are like chemistry: there are many elements at play. So daters be warned, looks aren't everything and neither are personality and that intriguing mental connection.

thanks alot grandpa

My grandfather, a content 85-year-old who is living life by his own terms, sent me a letter in the mail today. Inside was a passage from the bible. Now hold on, don't scatter at my mention of 'the book'. I am not one to preach about religion to others, I keep my opinions to myself as I often wish certain others would do.

The passage talked about each individual having a gift. Some are gifted to heal, some to write, and some have the gift of languages. On the side of the cut-out my grandfather posed the following question to me:

"Have you found your gift"

It hit me a little harder than I had expected. I think this was mostly because the answer is no. I do not yet know what I bring to this world. I'm still lost, trying to find myself, in what feels like never-ending darkness.

I think many people in their late teens up through the mid-twenties struggle with this. It's why colleges offer changes in major. You think you know what you want to do, then bam... your confused again. Everything sounds so good all the time, while nothing in particular seems to fit just right. Lost in the tumble we try grabbing onto the first thing that seems sturdy.

My grandfather managed to single-handedly highlight one of the biggest burdening questions I have in my life. I'm in college, trying to 'find myself', not fail my classes, and meet new people all at once. Like I need another seemingly unanswerable question added to my pile.